A source of family disputes

And a couple in their late 50s in Hubei province quarreled so violently on Lunar New Year's Day over how much money they should give their grandchildren that the man threatened to kill himself because his wife refused to proffer the 6,000 yuan he had planned to give their grandchildren as gift red envelopes.

Hongbao are mainly for children but adults also get it as lucky money. For example, people prepare hongbao for their elderly parents and grandparents and other aged relatives back home during the lunar year-end holidays. Besides, giving hongbao is not confined to family members or Spring Festival, as people also give money as gifts to colleagues, friends and relatives on such occasions as marriage, funerals or to celebrate a friend's child admission to a prestigious university.

This second kind of hongbao, in a way, has become a form of fundraising or mutual loan between friends. You invite me to your wedding, and I come with a hongbao. And when I get married, you come with an equal-sized or slightly larger red envelope. Like the gift money for kids, this congratulatory hongbao keeps enlarging every year, leaving everyone groaning.

Everybody complains but they all feel mei banfa, literally "no method" meaning they "can't do anything about it," because the custom is a matter of honor, or mianzi (literally face but meaning to save face), which Chinese value more than anything else in their social life.

Guangdong shows method amid madness

However, Guangdong provides a banfa.

Guangdong is one of China's richest provinces, and has the largest GDP in the country. Yet it is the least generous when it comes to hongbao: a trivial 50 yuan, according to the Wacai.com survey. In fact, it is even smaller, according to my experience. I am a Guangdong native and people generally give a kid only 10-20 yuan.

Many people expressed surprise over Guangdong residents' "miserliness" in their online comments while trying to figure out why the richest group of people gives the smallest hongbao.

The main reason, I believe, is that Guangdong was the first province in China to open up to the outside world and usher in new thoughts on wealth and society. Guangdong residents have discarded many old customs while favoring new ways of handling human relations. With regard to giving hongbao, they attach more importance to its role as a token of love rather than the derivative function as a means of striking loans among friends.

Guangdong people are apparently smart enough to realize that the reciprocal hongbao debt among friends, in reality, does not substantially provide mutual financial benefit. Instead, it creates a false sense of possession and anxiety about owing a debt.

Depend on hard work for success

Guangdong residents, who were the earliest to accept the market competition concept, have become accustomed to the idea that one must depend on one's own hard work in the pursuit of wealth and success rather than rely on help from guanxi (social relations). They also know their earlier-than-others awakening to the market concept helped their province to become the strongest economy in China.

And their practice of limiting the size of hongbao for children would also prevent the next generation from developing the habit of relying on external help. Seeking relief from the hongbao headache may not be a matter of emergency now but learning from Guangdong residents an effective new idea about individual efforts, wealth buildup and human relations is of substantial importance.

The author is a folklore teacher at Ningde Normal University in Fujian province.