As the eight-day National Day holiday is coming, many parents may worry whether their children will spend the Golden Week glued to their smartphones.

In fact, for a long time many arguments between anxious parents and children on the use of mobile phones have hit the headlines.

Children's addiction to smartphones is certainly a problem, although it's the apps that provide video games and short videos that are to blame rather than the phones themselves.

There are several reasons for the smartphone addition. Psychologists and psychiatrists say that normally, children become addicted to smartphones because some of their mental and spiritual needs are not met. Thus, to address the issue, rather than reprimanding their children or snatching the phones from them, let alone smashing them, parents should communicate with their kids and listen to what they have to say.

According to a survey conducted by China Youth and Children Research Center in 2019, children's addiction to online games is closely related to parent-child relations: the better the relationship is, the less likely a kid is to be addicted to online games. In families with a good parent-kid relationships, just 4.3 percent of children seek comfort in games, compared with 14.8 percent among families with a not-so-good familial bond.

Which shows kids' addiction to online games is related to parental care. To wean children away from smartphones, parents have to reflect on their own behavior and strive to build harmonious parent-kid relationships, instead of commanding their kids to give up the bad habit.

First, parents should not be excessively perturbed or irritated when their kids play video games. It's impossible for two parties immersed in anxieties to build a good relationship. Online games are one of the most popular pastimes for primary and middle school students. And it's unfair for parents to blame smartphones for all the problems of their children, including poor academic performance, lack of ambition and inactive lifestyles. Such problems existed even when smartphones and video games were not invented.

Besides, some of the problems should be left for time to solve. As students return to the routine of going to school, interacting with classmates, doing their homework after school and indulging in other normal everyday activities, they will be forced to stay away from smartphones.

Second, it is advisable to adopt a democratic way of parenting. Research shows children treated as equals in the family are more aware of the negative effects of online games. Those parents that respect their children's opinions and pay attention to their needs can set family rules with the help of their children.

By holding regular family meetings, all family members can resolve their differences, and reach consensuses on big issues. In such an atmosphere, children may be open about their thoughts and needs, and talk to their parents about what they really feel, which is required to resolve rifts.

Third, parents should spend time with their children. Actually, the most important and valuable gift that parents can give their kids is time, not money or expensive presents.

Parents have to find time for their kids instead of saying they are too busy with work and appear emotionally detached from them, because spending quality time with children is an important part of raising children. Fathers and mothers should get involved in what their kids are doing and introduce them to the joys of nature, rather than telling them what to do and what to learn.

It is necessary for parents to attend to their kids' emotional needs to keep the youngsters away from not only online games but also other potentially harmful activities. In other words, developing good parent-kid relations is an effective way to keep or draw kids away from smartphones.

The author is the director of the Family Research Center at China Youth and Children Research Center.

The views don't necessarily represent those of China Daily.