As a result, Zhang says, she and her husband are full of guilt.

"I blame myself for dragging down the whole family," she says.

Wu says: "The root cause of these phenomena is the low level of social services. The most basic social service resources, such as housekeeping services, the nanny market and nursing home services, have not been normalized and standardized, giving people a sufficient sense of dependability. When every family makes various plans it can only rely on itself and the people closest to it. Once a link fails to hold, it becomes passive.

"Public services ... are not good enough to help individuals keep things in balance."

In a report by the Shaanxi Provincial Statistics Bureau on people's willingness to have a second child, published last April, nearly 60 percent of families surveyed said they had no plans to have a second child. More than 66 percent said the financial cost of raising children was too great, and 46 percent said this was because of a lack of childcare resources.

Among the reasons given by those who said they were willing to have a second child was "the fear of a child being lonely".

"A harmonious family relationship is very important for children's education, which requires everyone to fully respect and communicate with each other," Wu says.

"The personalities, abilities and health status of the elderly vary greatly. Young parents should fully consider how their elders will be able to cope in every way and pay more attention to their needs."

Young parents need to take care of educating family members, Wu says.

"Older people can provide help according to their own abilities, but it must be made clear that it is primarily parents who are responsible for educating their children."