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Family differences arise in caring for grandchildren

By YANG ZEKUN | CHINA DAILY | Updated: 2022-04-30 07:29
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A baby sits with a grandmother while visiting a park in Beijing in May last year. [Photo by KEVIN FRAYER/FOR CHINA DAILY]

"We've lived frugally for a long time, so we can't stand that kind of waste, but to avoid upsetting our daughter, we didn't complain," He said. "After all, she hired the babysitter, so we went out for a walk after mealtimes every day. It was a case of out of sight, out of mind."

He has adapted to her daughter's living habits, but her husband is indifferent to staying in Beijing. As he frequently leaves clothes and shoes untidily and does not clean up garbage promptly, He often reminds him to be more considerate.

When the couple decided to travel to Beijing, many of their neighbors questioned the decision. They thought that as the daughter was married, it was the duty of their son-in-law's parents to take care of the baby.

"Some neighbors even asked me jokingly how long I would stay in Beijing before being sent back home. I just smiled and didn't answer them, as I simply wanted to help my daughter," He said.

Initially, her son-in-law was also at home, but He and her husband didn't get along very well with him, which they said was due to living different lifestyles.

"My son-in-law was often sullen and unhappy at mealtimes, when he didn't say anything to us. At one point, I couldn't take this anymore and asked my daughter what was going on, but she said she didn't know," He said.

"Although life in Beijing is good, I prefer to live in my hometown. Taking care of a newborn every day is also tiring, and apart from my husband and daughter, I have nobody to chat to. I just wanted to lighten my daughter's burden."

More difficulties

Chen Shutang, 62, from Lu'an, Anhui province, and his wife also encountered problems due to different living habits while taking care of their grandson in Beijing in late 2020. It was Chen's first time in the Chinese capital.

After arriving in the city, his son and daughter-in-law told Chen, a longtime smoker, several times not-to smoke before and while he took care of the baby. He dismissed their request at first, before his daughter-in-law became extremely angry and argued with Chen's son over the smoking issue.

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