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How to be a kind and decent person

By Nazeem Beegum Rahuman | China Daily | Updated: 2025-02-15 09:26
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A selfie of the writer taken while visiting Lushan Mountain in Jiangxi province during the Spring Festival holiday. [Photo by Nazeem Beegum Rahuman/China Daily]

China became the third overseas country in which I have worked in July last year, as if to fulfill the dreams of my late parents.

I decided to accept Beijing as another second home after living in fast-paced Dubai for 16 years and another two years in Phnom Penh, the sleepy capital city of Cambodia, thinking destiny had delivered me to just another foreign country to earn a living. But the vastness of everything I have seen here has changed my perception and knowledge of China.

That first experience of open skies and fresh air as I exited Beijing airport that humid July evening after a 23-hour flight from India via Singapore, passing through three different time zones, was overwhelming. It wasn't difficult to understand that China had something unique to offer me, as I found everything to be contrary to what I had heard so far about the rising superpower.

My excitement grew as nature welcomed me with an unexpected summer shower, which gave the opportunity to better experience Chinese hospitality on the day of my arrival itself.

It came in the form of a housekeeper who wouldn't let me go outside in the stormy weather to do my shopping, and instead ordered everything I needed on her phone. She didn't speak English, but language was no barrier to communicating with the help of translation app.

She also took the initiative to get me a SIM card the next morning, and took me to a supermarket, where I bought the rest of the items I needed. She offered to carry everything back home on a bicycle, and helped me get to know the locality where I was going to live.

This reminded me of the good experience I had onboard the Singapore Airlines flight. Seeing me struggling to put my cabin baggage in the overhead space, a tall Chinese man traveling with his family came to my rescue, while flight attendants stood watching.

A few days later, while struggling to get a shopkeeper to understand that I wanted a bottle of milk, a lady who gave her name as "To be a decent person" came out of nowhere to help me.

Even before I extended my gratitude, she took me to another shop and asked what else I needed. Then she started picking items on my behalf, communicated with the counter staff, and then left as if she hadn't done anything special.

In between, we exchanged contacts and she told me to get in touch for any help. Many such Good Samaritans were waiting for me outside the workplace, on the streets, in the shops, and in a salon I visited, encouraging me to let my guard down.

While some sophisticated people show off their desire to help in a fake manner, these ordinary folk, who do not even know whether they are going to cross paths or communicate with a total stranger, take the pain to help, "decently" expecting no reward. They are touching to the core.

Another unforgettable experience involved a young, homesick youth from Yunnan province who played Indian music and asked me to dance with him to a Bollywood number he liked very much, and who repeatedly said, "India-China, we are a family."

Though many are reluctant to initiate a conversation, fearing the communication barrier, the excitement starts when they see my mobile translation app. Youngsters I meet, especially students, have been eager to have a conversation with a foreigner, which according to them helps develop their English language skills.

Amid the innumerable blank looks I face every day in Beijing, it is also not difficult to find individuals like "To be a decent person". They are indeed a big consolation when living away from home and dear ones.

Above all, each of them teaches the importance of smiling and being a decent person, even in adverse situations.

The author is Nazeem Beegum Rahuman, an Indian national from the South Indian state of Kerala. She is a journalist and published author, and has been working and living abroad since 2004.

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