Staying put

While some elderly people have moved to cities, many of their partners have stayed behind in rural homes, where they face the vicissitudes of aging alone.

The fifth sample survey on the living conditions of urban and rural senior residents in China reported that 59.7 percent of elderly people in China lived in empty-nest households, with 13 percent living alone in 2021.

Zhou Baoguo, 67, from a small town in Anhui province, faced this reality. Two years ago, when his son and daughter-in-law secured jobs in Beijing and had their first child, the family assumed both grandparents would move. Only Zhou's wife went, while he stayed behind.

The decision seemed practical. His legs tire easily, and long distances and crowded trains leave him aching. The vegetable plot behind the house still needs tending, and his 80-year-old mother depends on him.

"Someone has to stay. If I don't water them, they'll wither. Who will care for my mother?" he asked.

Outwardly, the house seems unchanged, but inwardly, everything feels different. Rooms that once echoed with chatter have fallen silent. His routine remains steady — waking early, sweeping, and going to the market. At night, he sometimes forgets he is alone by talking to an empty room, "Dinner's ready? Don't forget your jacket."

Zhou has learned to use a smartphone for video calls to watch his grandson smile and crawl. Each evening, he records short voice messages about the weather, crops, and seasons — small stories for a future reunion. "He doesn't know me yet, but I know him. Soon, we'll pick the corn together," he said.

Neighbors call him "understanding" and "selfless", but Zhou rarely frames it that way. He has never called himself an elderly drifter, yet in his stillness exists another kind of "drifting" that is rooted, quiet, and marked by distance.

"They survive in a big city while I survive in a small one. I stay, I wait, but sometimes it feels like I am already far away," said Zhou.

Over 30 percent of families with children under 3 years old have a need for childcare, but the actual enrollment rate in childcare facilities nationwide is only 7.86 percent, according to data released by the National Health Commission's Department of Population Surveillance and Family Development in 2024.

The idea that older people are a "resource" rather than a "burden" has also gained popularity in public discussions, but Yu, the professor, offers a more cautious interpretation.

"If the elderly are seen as resources only because they can provide childcare, this is ultimately a utilitarian view, one that reduces them to a form of labor," said Yu.

Despite losing their former central position in the family, many elderly drifters continue to accept — and even embrace — this role.

"Through caring for their grandchildren, they experience joy, emotional connection and a renewed sense of purpose, even if their status in the family has shifted and become closer to that of a caregiver or nanny," said Yu.