The high price of love
By Qiu Lin (China Daily)Updated: 2007-02-06 11:06
But Wu Ran, a stage director, thinks it is normal and legitimate for a woman to want to marry a man having a house and a car. "You don't have to own a villa and a BMW," Wu says, "but a car or a house shows a man's stable status."
The stage drama, D Style Life, which Wu directed recently, shows a young man who bought an apartment in an upscale community and who secretly works two jobs in order to pay off the mortgage.
He doesn't tell his girlfriend the truth for fear that she would leave him once she finds out that he is not the wealthy man she wanted. "So many girls are like that in real life," says Wu, adding "for me it's absolutely a must to have a house and a car before I marry the girl I love. I want to provide a stable life for her."
Wu points out that those who marry for love rather than money are investing their youth in the husband. Basically, they are no different from those wanting to marry money.
In this regard, to a woman, being mercenary doesn't mean selling out for money, but just being your own best friend.
Unlike a love relationship, a marriage involves two kinds of social relations: material and ideological. Therefore, "it is necessary and natural to have material demands when it comes to marriage," says Wang Wei, deputy director of the Beijing Marriage & Family Institute.
In fact, material desires always exist, varying in different social groups and different times, he says.
Take the period of the "cultural revolution" (1966-76), a most ideological and fanatic time. Many women looked for future husbands with good political backgrounds, ones that had a bicycle, a watch, a sewing machine, and a radio as the preconditions for marriage.
Back then, one needed commodity ration coupons to buy these items, thus making them a symbol of power.
Things have changed. "You cannot expect your children not to be materially
minded when society is full of advertising, and the "no-free-lunch" philosophy
has infiltrated our social life," says Li Dun, sociologist from the Chinese
Academy of Social Sciences.
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