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CHINA> Focus
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A match made in cyberspace
By Wang Ru (China Daily)
Updated: 2009-02-13 07:53
This Saturday, Zhao Xin won't be spending another lonely Valentine's Day. She has finally found her Mr. Right on a dating website. The 27-year-old earns a handsome salary at a radio station in Beijing and registered for the dating service three years ago.
![]() "Maybe I was too picky about my future husband," says Zhao, who met about 20 men introduced by the website, but didn't fall for any of them. Last December, when she checked her dating invitations - the pretty girl often received more than 10 messages everyday - one of them drew her attention.
"He is a gentleman who cares about me. Besides, he has a well-paid job in a shipping company and his parents like me very much," Zhao says of meeting her future parents-in-law during the Spring Festival holiday. She also changed her dating status from "seeking a husband" to "making ordinary friends" on the website. Google "online dating and matchmaking website", in Chinese, and about 1 million results will pop up, indicating how prosperous the industry is here. Gong Haiyan's company Century Love (Shiji Jiayuan), is one of the leading players. The 33-year-old calls her website "the country's most serious matchmaking website". "Chinese people are usually shy about meeting strangers. Our culture is introverted," Gong says. "For example, in Western countries, it is common to hear men praising the merits of women, and women can accept the compliments easily. But in China, it is inappropriate to do so," she adds. "The Internet is an ideal place for us. Users can search for someone suitable - age, job, salary, education, interests, and personality," Gong says. "Thus they can avoid frustration." On Valentine's Day, Gong's company will hold dating parties across major cities like Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou for lonely bachelors and single ladies. In Beijing, there are already 2,400 applicants for a dating party, which is set to take place in Beijing Asia Hotel on Saturday. Gong's nickname, "Xiao Long Nu" or "Little Dragon Maiden", is well known because domestic and foreign media have covered her story. After graduating from Peking University, Gong, from Hunan province, went to Fudan University in Shanghai to complete her master's degree. She started her matchmaking business on campus. "At that time, my mother was often urging me to get married since I was 26 then. But I neither had the time nor opportunity to meet guys, so I decided to try the Internet." At that time, some matchmaking agencies had started their services on Internet and online dating companies were burgeoning. But neither were able to meet the booming needs of marriage seekers. Some of them were frauds. Gong paid 300 yuan ($43.9) to become a member of a matchmaking agency. Once, she decided to call a man she contacted, but was told the number was no longer available. "I was so angry about being cheated, but I felt there was a huge market for online dating," Gong says. She found there were many people past the traditional marriageable age, with a good education, like her, who wanted to find partners but were finding it difficult to do so. In 2002, Gong created a simple web space. "My first client was one of my friends, who allowed me to upload her pretty pictures on the website," Gong recalls with a smile. "The first hundreds of users were all from my friends' circle." Gradually, Gong's website became popular at her university and some colleges nearby. In 2004, the website had over 2,000 users. She also found her future husband on her own website. In 2005, as she was about to graduate, Gong was in a dilemma whether to continue her website or seek work. "I had become a bit famous already. When I went to job interviews, the interviewers often recognized me and were puzzled as to why I wanted to give up such a good business," Gong says. That summer, two things eventually inspired Gong to continue her Net-matchmaking career. One French online dating company became a listed company in France, the first of its kind in the world. The other thing was a returned overseas couple sought out Gong and offered her 5 million yuan ($731,700) to buy her website - but she rejected the offer. In July 2005, Gong registered her company in Shanghai. In the same year, she received her first investment of 2 million yuan. Now, Gong's matchmaking website www.jiayuan.com has snowballed into a company with 130 full-time employees and 17 million registered users. It is valued at about $40 million, according to Gong, who owns 40 percent of it. "The trend is exciting. Not only young people, but people of different ages have begun to accept online dating," she says. In October 2008, an 81-year-old professor from the China Academy of Fine Arts and a 58-year-old woman from Sichuan held their wedding in Beijing. The couple met each other through Gong's website. "I am often invited to attend those weddings which my website matched up. Every time I see the grateful and happy couple, I believe I have done something right and meaningful," Gong says. In January, the company held a controversial matchmaking party in a five-star hotel in Guangzhou. Each of the 30 bachelors, all millionaires or billionaires, paid 20,888 yuan ($3,057) to meet 40 eligible girls, who were selected from 6,350 applicants through a series of psychological tests and interviews. "People of different social status have different needs for their spouses, which is natural. I think society should tolerate it," says Yao Yue, the event organizer, who works in Century Love's Guangzhou branch. The online dating industry has inevitably brought some social problems. Many dating websites are fronts for crimes, prostitution and one-night stands. Gong says many bars or nightclubs hire good-looking young girls to date men on the Internet, and then get them to spend money at those bars or clubs. "Online dating is a phenomenon which mirrors the progress of our society after opening-up and reforms," Gong says. "We shouldn't stop this promising business, in the same way that people shouldn't shut their doors just because some flies have flown in with the fresh air." "While we are endeavoring to build a harmonious society, people mostly focus on issues like employment, education and economy. Marriage, however, is also crucial for the stability of our society, especially in our family-oriented culture," Gong says.
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