Society

Mother's stabbing arouses parenting concern

(Xinhua)
Updated: 2011-04-13 18:55

SHANGHAI - A young man who nearly stabbed his mother to death over an alleged row for money has aroused widespread concern over adequate moral education from China's loving yet high-demanding parents.

Related readings: Insight sought into stabbing

The 25-year-old man, surnamed Wang, is accused of stabbing his mother nine times on arrival at Shanghai's Pudong International Airport after five years study in Japan on April 1.

The mother, 52-year-old Gu, narrowly survived and is still in hospital.

Wang told police his mother had started nagging him when she met him at the airport. "She said she'd rather die than give her son any more money," a police officer based at the airport said, quoting Wang.

Wang said his mind went blank, and he took out a knife from his luggage and started to stab her.

Wang was detained at the scene and could not be reached for an interview.

His mother, Gu, refused to recall how it happened in her ward at the People's Hospital in Pudong New District Wednesday. Her roommate said she cried continuously and had been unable to sleep.

Gu's brother-in-law described her as a very caring mother. "She had to borrow lots of money from friends and relatives for her son to study in Japan."

Gu earns about 80,000 yuan ($12,248) a year selling clothes, but her son's tuition and living expenses in Japan were at least three times higher.

Police began a judicial appraisal on Monday of Wang's mental state, as relatives said he had shown unusual behaviors and complained of hallucinations before his return to Shanghai.

The result of the appraisal had not been released as of Wednesday.

Parenting Concern

While the motive behind Wang's stabbing remains an enigma, relatives almost unanimously complained of his selfishness and his mother's overwillingness to give.

They said Wang rarely worked and relied only on his parents' money.

An economics major at Nihon University, Wang spent 300,000 to 400,000 yuan a year, including 80,000 yuan in tuition and 144,000 yuan in lodging, Gu told Dongfang Daily, a Shanghai-based newspaper.

The tragedy has shocked the Chinese and caused widespread concern over adequate parenting of children.

Nearly two weeks after the stabbing, the accident was still being vigorously discussed on major Chinese parenting websites Wednesday.

Some blamed the tragedy on a lack of moral education at home and at school, saying parents and teachers all pay far more attention to academic performances and often neglect children's moral standards and mental health.

Many Chinese urban parents are loving but highly demanding at the same time, says Ke Yunlu, a noted author on psychology and education. "They treat their children as babies, care for all their needs and protect them from the least harm, hoping they will live up to their expectations and excel intellectually."

The pampering and high expectations are expected to only increase as China's first generation of "only children" at home become parents themselves.

In most Chinese cities, competition is white hot for preschoolers to enter top schools and kindergartens and the struggle continues throughout college.

As many parents pledge, they are willing to do anything as long as their children grow up to be "successful." This often leads parents to pay 10 times the family income as sweeteners to place children at desired schools or jobs, which does not necessarily make their children happy.

Some children even break under their parents' heavy expectations, as Liu Hanlin sees it.

Liu, a 2009 graduate from Nagoya University in Japan, had to return home for counseling when he was a boarder at a Tokyo high school, carrying all his parents' ambitions." I felt uncomfortable and isolated at school, but my father, who was working at a chemical firm in Tokyo, was always too busy to care."

Liu said Wang might be facing similar problems.

A growing number of teenagers have chosen to study abroad in recent years, but experts warn that some of them may not be mature enough to cope with the pressure.

"They may score high in tests, but may not be independent enough to get along in a new environment, as they are used to the excessive protection from their parents and lack basic social skills," said Yang Xiong, a researcher on juvenile studies at Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences.

When these youngsters fail to achieve their goals, the crashing of their dreams on the rocks of cold reality may become the root for severe psychological illness or conflicts with people, said Xie Bin, a Shanghai-based specialist on mental health.