Five years ago, when we decided to get married, my mother-in-law couldn't return to China from the United States because she had just had a surgery. She was upset about missing our wedding for a long time.

While we were still dating, my future husband had been eager to introduce me to his mother. I thought she was just bent on ending her son's bachelor life. I got a call from her one afternoon. It was about 3 am where she was living.

"I just miss you," she said. I felt strangely warm: Besides my own mother, someone else also cared about me.

My mother-in-law lived with her daughter in the States for 20 years, taking care of dozens of children and grandchildren. In her 80s, she still busied herself with household chores and cooked delicious food.

Without any old friends to talk to, she relied on phone calls from her children around the world. We communicated via e-mail: My sister-in-law would print my weekly mail for her. All my friends are surprised at our growing fondness.

I didn't see her in person until three years after my wedding. I found the short lady waiting in the front room, leaning on a stick. I embraced her and kissed her. It was something both of us had looked forward to for a long time.

We spent 30 happy days together. I hunted for Chinese recipes and tried to cook something different every day. I could feel that while the food from her homeland nourished her body, something else was also changing.

One cold morning, I wrapped both of us up and pushed her in a wheelchair to go shopping. As we climbed a slope, she kept murmuring: "My heart aches for you, my daughter."

I pointed at the cherry blossoms and the naughty squirrels. We put the bags down and let the sun warm us before going on. Her face was radiant like a young child: "I've been living here for so long, but I never knew the neighbors' flowers were so beautiful!"

That night, I asked if she would have coffee with me at a local cafe, which had great cherry blossoms. She worried about what to wear. I made up for her, and we chose her favorite pearl necklace.

It was but a journey of 20 minutes, yet we sat down with coffee, cake and a great sense of accomplishment. We were sharing a little secret of our own.

I wanted to ask her to live with us back in China. With the whole family's support, we finally persuaded her to take the step.

She enjoys the company of old friends and we enjoy hers as well. We feed goldfish in the morning, paint and play chess in the afternoon. And she finally tasted a long-dreamed meal of home-raised chicken.

Sadly, her memories are now fading fast and she has difficulty remembering each child's name. Last month, she suffered another knee infection and was hospitalized for 20 days. Her wrinkled face was full of horror. She was in great pain, expected to die and begged us to take her home.

On the day she left hospital, she looked at me and murmured: "My daughter, you look so lovely."

(China Daily 09/25/2008 page20)