Can't find a man who makes you happy? The Love Doctor says it could be YOUR fault
Updated: 2008-01-07 15:58
DESPERATE GIRL
This is the girl who will phone-stalk a guy until she gets his attention. She absolutely will not be ignored. Sound familiar?
Like something out of Fatal Attraction, maybe? While the real-life Desperate Girl is probably nowhere near as bad as Glenn Close, she's definitely the inspiration for the character.
Men love to chase and love the give-and-take dance of a relationship.
If you're doing all the running, they'll lose interest and back off.
Men all want to feel wanted, but if we feel needed that puts us under a whole load of pressure which, frankly, we could do without.
THE LOVE PRESCRIPTION:Let your good qualities do the talking.
Start by believing in yourself and, rather than throwing yourself at someone, have faith that an intelligent person who is worthy of your attention will see your true value.
Make your new motto "I can take it or leave it" and stick by it.
That means not calling him, and turning down a date once in a while. If he doesn't ask again, he wasn't worth it.
Next time you meet a guy you really like, enforce the ten-minute rule. After ten minutes of chat, make an excuse and leave.
It might sound like playing games, but you need to practice being unavailable. Let him chase you.
WORKING GIRL
Most of us need to work, but this type of woman really makes an issue out of it.
She hides behind her career, using it as an excuse to get out of the intimidating world of relationships, and is often heard saying that she doesn't need a man because she's too busy with her job.
Men don't like being second to anything, and they don't like being cancelled on for a last-minute meeting, or having pillow talk interrupted by your BlackBerry.
Plus, you tend to be the girls that say there are no men around.
That's because you never meet any of them as you're always chained to your desk.
THE LOVE PRESCRIPTION:Start playing hard. Explore your passions with an adventure holiday and leave your BlackBerry at home.
Whether you go scuba-diving in the Caribbean or rockclimbing in Wales, do something that excites you.
And start to say yes to more things, whether it's dates, nights out with girlfriends or invitations to exhibitions. Just get out of the office!
Get involved in online dating and, when you meet people, make a rule that you don't talk about your work straight away.
Relax and accept that if you want to be happy, you're going to have to work on that work-life balance.
LOST GIRL
This is the woman who finds herself "lost" in an unhealthy relationship but doesn't have the strength or capacity to walk away.
She may have her life in order outside of the relationship, but when it comes to her boyfriend, she's a real mess.
She'll rationalise why he cheated or why he treats her poorly, and then she'll pull out the "If you only knew him the way I know him" excuses.
Lost Girls might be able to say they have a relationship, but they actually end up more alone than a single girl because they've got no emotional support at all.
Men need to be held accountable. If you let them act like idiots, you lose their respect, and without respect a relationship isn't going to work.
THE LOVE PRESCRIPTION:Find yourself. Nothing is more attractive than an air of independence, so take control of your life.
Throw yourself into your work. Unlike Working Girl, you spend too much time on your relationship and not enough on your work.
Look for new goals and interests. Don't sit around waiting for your boyfriend, take up a new hobby or do something you've always wanted to but never got round to.
And stop apologising for your boyfriend. Next time your friends or family start questioning his behaviour, listen.
If after trying to work things out, you know it's not working, have the courage to just walk away. It will hurt, but not as much as staying with him would.
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