How a job interview is somewhat like a date
Updated: 2008-05-09 07:24
It has often been said that an interview is a little like a date (or vice versa). I've never been so sure, but in the interests of science, it's a hypothesis worth investigating.
First, the similarities. Both require you to dress up, be well-informed and engaging, and to floss beforehand. Both also involve a vague, unpleasant nervousness which stems from being judged in an event specially organized for that purpose.
I've yet to meet the person who enjoys either personal or professional rejection, and ultimately, "We'll keep your details on file" and "I'll call you" mean the same thing. As do, "You had a different skillset than that required" and "It's not you, it's me".
The differences are more marked. You're very unlikely to go on a date with a panel of people. Rarely, if ever, will a date ask you if you've ever faced any challenges or ethical conflicts in your personal, academic or professional life.
If they do ask that, they'll almost certainly not follow it up with an enquiry as to what they were and how you handled them. If someone you're on a date with nods, then makes a note about what you've said, before conferring with someone else sitting nearby, you're allowed to leave. And interviews very rarely end with a half-hearted argument about who's going to pay and/or an amateurish kiss. Unless you've really impressed the head of human resources (HR).
Interviews seem to be getting ever tougher. Strangely, as the labor market gets more flexible and people move jobs more often, the process seems to have become more complicated and stressful.
Psychometric tests and observed group activities have become the norm at big companies, or for any job in high demand. After the assessment day, the first, second and third interviews, the surprise tests and the jumping blindfolded through flaming hoops over tanks of sharks, anyone would be stressed.
That's not to mention the strangeness of any situation in which you have to work with, and yet also undermine, your fellow candidates. I was once called upon to sit with four of my bitterest rivals and listen attentively to their ideas in a group discussion, before trying to make them sound like morons. I just wanted to shout, "Pick me! Pick me!" - which is, incidentally, also an unacceptable thing to say on a date. Apparently.
It raises the awful specter of being forced to meet the other suitors for the affections of your date and having to sit around making chitchat while he or she quietly eliminates contenders. I spot a reality TV show in there somewhere.
Talking of making money from the misery of others, dates and interviews are both the subjects of countless books. Although you should try not to get dating books like The Professional Bachelor and interview tomes like Job Interviews for Dummies mixed up.
And be careful how you apply the techniques - a friend of mine was once taught to loosen up his vocal chords and jaw by making noises before an interview. He retired to the bathroom just before he was called in and proceeded to variously yip like a dog and talk like Winston Churchill, only to have his puzzled interviewer walk out from a cubicle.
Of course, if you want to job-hunt more subtly, you'll want to hide your guidebooks and do your noises at home. But the amount of time you must dedicate to impressing a potential employer these days makes it all but impossible to hide anything else. You have to take at least four mornings off in quick succession - just not feasible unless you pretend to have adopted a sickly animal that requires constant attention.
At least a date is just one evening. But then a dating rejection is personal - you can pretend that an interview rejection was professional, or whinge bitterly that they hired internally anyway. Actually, with that level of self-delusion, there might be more similarities between the two than I first thought.
The Guardian
(China Daily 05/09/2008 page9)
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