But stars are not ordinary people. They have more money, more privileges and more interesting lives than ordinary people. They have these things because they made a choice to enter public life and pursue fame. People who make this choice reap the benefits of public praise and adoration, so they also must accept public criticism of their personal behavior. Even though we often unfortunately find examples to the contrary, fame should not be some sort of magical eraser that wipes away personal responsibility.

If a taxi driver is driving drunk or a bank teller is found to be using illegal drugs, are we as quick to excuse these truly ordinary people with the “they are just ordinary people and everyone makes mistakes” defense? Are we as quick to forgive the ordinary person who steps on our shoe in a crowded subway car as we are to forgive the celebrity holding up the same shoe in a subway billboard advertisement?

If you have the ability to sell out stadiums or ring up millions in box office receipts, you are relying on the public to support you and finance your lifestyle. The trade-off is that you should conduct yourself in a way worthy of public support. When you do not, you owe the public an apology, not just in words, but in corresponding actions. If as a celebrity, you aren’t willing to make that trade-off, maybe you need to disappear from the public eye.

Kim Lee is a writer and teacher specializing in family education. She lives in Beijing with her three daughters.