Love for a country or someone is clearly not best expressed by saying the word and repeating it time and again. For example, many Chinese have never said "I love you" to their parents or even their spouses, but that does not at all mean that they don't love them. In the Chinese culture, such words are not simply meant to be said explicitly, but felt in the sixth sense. Yes. Chinese have a sixth sense.

That said, it is also true that some Chinese believe that saying good things about their country is the only correct thing to do, while exposing problems is often regarded as unpatriotic, politically incorrect or tarnishing the image of the nation.

That kind of mentality has made it hard for journalists whose job is largely to reveal the problems, not hide or ignore them, or live in denial.

Every Chinese knows the truth about the ancient saying that good medicine tastes bitter and honest advice sounds unpleasant. Yet in reality, many still prefer flattery to criticism.

As parents, we all know that there is something called tough love. If you don't point out the mistakes made by your children, you are not helping them in the long run.

It seems that both Chinese and Americans must wake up to the fact that those who like to flatter are the ones who really don't know what love is or don't care about their country or loved ones.

People can love their country by being a good critic.

The author, based in Washington, is deputy editor of China Daily USA. chenweihua@chinadailyusa.com