The rest of the world jumped to condemn the assaults, offering consolation to France and assuring that country that we, too, are French.

Paris is a magnet for tourists, from China to the United States, from Mexico to much closer at hand Europe. People are attracted by the sophisticated way the Parisians in particular enjoy themselves. It costs little more than the price of a coffee or a beer to sit on the sidewalk and enjoy the street theater that is Paris traffic.

But in a few bloodstained violent moments all that changed.

Since the attacks, I have spoken to long-standing friends in France, and they all speak of two things - the need to stand together, and a certain nervousness that is unlikely to go away any time soon.

"You do something simple, like going to buy bread, or a newspaper. A sudden sound, a sudden movement, and you freeze," one told me. But the French are also having to come to terms with a deeper realization that France, for generations known as a terre d'asile, or land of asylum, may have to change its attitude.

Over the years I have noted that French friends are passionate about three things - beating the English on the rugby field, vehemently protecting their way of life, and arguing strongly in favour of offering sanctuary to those from outside who need it. They might not give up on the first, but they face a terrible dilemma in reconciling the second and the third items on the list.

Losing your humanity is what extremists want.

The author is managing editor, Europe for China Daily. chris@mail.chinadailyuk.com