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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

為什么喝得這么快

2010-11-11 13:07
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served.

上錯了車

2010-11-10 11:26
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"

威士忌里的蟲子

2010-11-09 10:18
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

尋找會計

2010-11-08 12:25
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.

為什么流淚

2010-11-05 08:59
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together.

上了年紀的麻煩

2010-11-04 09:30
Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up.

你爸好像把你忘了

2010-11-03 09:58
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."

不陪我購物的下場

2010-11-02 09:14
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

我才是艾爾伯特

2010-11-01 10:02
The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

重修舊好

2010-10-29 10:44
Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me?

坦白

2010-10-28 10:12
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage."

好消息

2010-10-27 09:55
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

為什么你做不到

2010-10-26 10:15
Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes home, he brings her a dozen roses.

你很幸運

2010-10-25 12:43
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

絕望求婚

2010-10-22 09:59
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her.

萬無一失

2010-10-21 09:13
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.

為什么圍觀

2010-10-20 09:52
A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.

讓時間靜止的容顏

2010-10-19 10:49
On a blind date, the boy said to the girl: "Time stands still when I look into your eyes."

只要看一眼照片

2010-10-18 09:18
Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

完美男人

2010-10-15 12:19
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

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